Moving Past How Are You, I’m Fine.

I’ve been meeting with a group of women from my church over the past several months as part of a Women’s Leadership Team.  What does the woman of 2016 want?  What does she need?  What are we leading women to?  What are we leading women in?  Those are the questions we have been pondering.

And can we, this small group of seven women,  have any impact in their lives?  Can we block out some of the worldly noise competing for their attention?


Can we be women of influence?

In the Bible, the book of Titus teaches us that the “older” women are to teach the younger women.   Does older only refer to age?  Who is the older woman?

Marriage.  Motherhood.  Death.  Grief.  Divorce.  

All those circumstances lend to a more experienced woman (and the gal we tend to think of as older and wiser).  But what about…

College.  Career.  Depression.  Singleness.  Abuse.  

All those life situations (and countless more) lend to more experience as well.  And if a woman has walked down one of those roads,  turned to God, and gained wisdom, isn’t she an “older” one?

After a few weeks of discussion, our little group doesn’t think women want (or need) another church program.   They don’t need someone to teach them how to knit a pair of socks or make an apple pie.  They want someone to give them a peek at what might be around the next corner.  And maybe offer a few words of encouragement or instruction.

She wants to tell her story.  

She wants someone to listen, to hear.  She wants to know she matters.

Women seek love and acceptance.   I pray to God they find both in our midst.  They also need guidance and godly wisdom from women who have gone before them.

“How are you?  I’m fine”  just doesn’t cut it anymore.  I am not fine.  You are not fine.  We are NOT fine.  We have worries and problems.  Big problems.  And we need help.  Just some basic, fundamental help.



As this group of women’s leadership meets weekly, it is causing me to look around and “see” other women.  I mean really see them.  Do I know her name?  Is she married?  Does she have any children?  Does she work outside her home?  If so, where?


And those questions just barely scratch the surface of this woman created by God.

She is part of my church family.  The Bible says we are part of the same body.  Shouldn’t I know if she is concerned about her cancer returning?  Or worried about her prodigal child?  Abused?  Lonely?  Afraid of losing her job — or her husband?

Shouldn’t she know she matters — to me?  to us?  To God?

Does she?


Who’s going to tell her, if we don’t?  We’ve been in her shoes.  We know.  We know. Shame on us if we don’t help carry her baggage.


Most of us, in the church,  are  the older woman.   We can look around and see someone walking the same road on which we just left footprints.  Let’s reach out and give her our hand.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“No, really, I’ve got some time, tell me about your week…”




“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”  Ephesians 4:25

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