My Days Well-Lived
I wrote some promotional material for a women’s ministry yesterday, and I ended the promo with the tagline, “Can I get a witness?” I’ve thought about that phrase all day. I talk a lot about grief, and the importance of standing in witness of our own grief as well as the grief of others. It’s […]
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I stared down at the pond pump, and thought, “How hard can it be?” That question comes up a lot… How hard can it be? Ponds, sprinkler heads, and rodent traps are not things I would have chosen in search of my new identity, but they are certainly part of the journey. These are the […]
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I have always thought February was THE loooonnnngest month of the year. Until this year. January seemed to drag on for.ev.er. I was happy to turn the calendar and behold a new month. The first few weeks of the year were a bit rough. I think my Fall was so busy, one thing after another, that […]
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I was honored to speak at a breakout session this weekend at the Alabaster Heart conference, Jireh. I’ve stayed home and quiet today. The enemy would like to steal any joy or healing from that event. I’ve tried to be proactive with self-care, good media, lots of reflection, and some art therapy. Interestingly enough, the […]
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It was a picture of me — from about five years ago. I scrolled on, but something made me click the BACK button. I studied her. Who is that woman smiling into the camera — even with her eyes. That’s rare. For me anyways. My daughter tells me I don’t often smile unabashedly for kodak […]
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I get asked this question a lot…. How are you doing? I usually avoid the question by just repeating the question back – “How are YOU?” Because it’s really just a salutation, right? Like “Hey!” or “There you are!” Most of the time it’s not really THE question, ‘How are you?” And when it is, […]
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Yesterday was my birthday. The second birthday I’ve “celebrated” without my husband. That’s how I track time now. Before he died. After he died. That’s not grief or mourning. It’s just the way it is. Keeping track of time by his death comes as naturally to me as breathing. Many don’t get it, but all […]
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Today is Holy Saturday, the day after Jesus was crucified. This year, more than ever before, Holy Saturday weighs heavy on me. It is the day between Good Friday and Easter, both highly acknowledged and observed in churches, of course, as those two days are what Christianity is built upon. Without Easter, we have nothing. […]
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My local church hosted a Blue Christmas service this year. I was asked to give a testimony… I lost my husband 14 months ago. Wow! It still shocks me when I say that out loud. This past year has been the hardest year of my life. I came to know the Lord as a teenager, […]
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God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good. Yes. I believe that. And still… There is no gravity in my house. Ten months. And counting… When should I go to bed? What time should I get up? When am I suppose to eat? Or NOT eat? What am I suppose to […]
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I was just casually looking for art supplies at the local craft store. Minding my own business and not thinking about grief. Not even thinking about Jon in that moment. It’s okay to say that, right? Just enjoying a bit of reprieve with some carefree shopping. As I was comparing the different hues of red […]
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It’s been eight months. I plan to clean out the bathroom today. All the shelves and all the drawers. It’s been on my to-do list for over a week. I keep “arrowing” it over to the next day. And then the next. But I think today is the day. And to be fair, 75 percent […]
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My bus is stuck in the mud this week. Apathy, the bus driver, doesn’t think we can get out. Wallowing, his companion, is here with him, a distraction, and we aren’t getting much accomplished, paralyzed by the situation. Food and drink have graciously been provided, but the thought of eating brings Nausea to sit beside […]
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I have two church bulletins from 2019 tucked in the back of my daytimer. These bulletins are filled with handwritten notes. The sermons spoke to me then, and continue to speak to me to this day, and I occasionally pull them out to review the lessons. The interesting thing about these two sermons, which were […]
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Do you ever play games in your mind? You know, like this is one… We relocated to a new city 8 years ago. 8 years! It seems like 3. How did that happen? And so (the game)… when the next 8 years whiz by, it will be the year 2028 (almost)! That number looks odd. […]
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I have not had enough empathy for people in chronic pain. The week before Mother’s Day, I injured my back — somehow. I don’t really know when or how, but trust me I’m down for the count. It toyed with me for about 6 weeks, mostly just disrupting my sleep, but in week 7, it […]
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Joining up with Five Minute Friday this week on the prompt: rain Those 4 letters were once just a common word in my vocabulary that described the weather. The word was neither good nor bad. It just was. It rained. Or it didn’t rain. I never gave it much thought. And then my husband became […]
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I caught myself sending up a prayer yesterday, “God….” I say “caught” because when I heard my voice, after that one word, I stopped. Seriously? Was I going to talk to God that way? I thought about that prayer the rest of the day. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with addressing God by using […]
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I am an Old Testament girl. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to live under the law! I’m all about God’s amazing grace, but oh, how I love that older book. I can get lost in the stories (and drama) in the lives of those men and women. I identify with Moses, and his […]
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So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Â Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks, or the church of God — even as I try to please everybody in every way. Â For I am not seeking my own good but the good of […]
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It was an early Saturday morning in September, and Aubrey, Gage, and Levi were eager to get inside the building. Each of them carried a small plastic baggie filled with money they had saved for this very day. Their mom, dad, and younger brother trailed behind them. This was the 4th year they had come […]
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I read an article last night about yet another prominent Christian woman ending her marriage after 25 years. This woman has a world renown ministry. Â She writes books and speaks about marriage, family and home. Â And yes, there was infidelity in their marriage, but no judgment toward her is intended at all — it’s […]
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Always about this time every year, I begin to get nervous about our upcoming  FMSC MobilePack.  It’s kind of like planning a wedding — so many details!  And if everyone just remembers his role, the “wedding” will be a big success.  We have a steering committee, yes, and those people plan, work and delegate. However, […]
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I’ve been meeting with a group of women from my church over the past several months as part of a Women’s Leadership Team.  What does the woman of 2016 want?  What does she need?  What are we leading women to?  What are we leading women in?  Those are the questions we have been pondering. And can we, […]
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We are now in the early stages of planning our 7th local Feed My Starving Children MobilePack, Meals From Michiana.  I became the coordinator for this event in our Northern Indiana community 2 years ago. The MobilePack manual provided by FMSC has been my constant companion as I organize and plan. Everything that needs to […]
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Did you know over two million children die every single year from starvation?  2,000,000!  That’s a really big number. I’m not even sure I can “see” that number, can you? What does 2,000,000 look like?  We could fill the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis every 11 days with children — who are doomed to die […]
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If you’re just joining me, I hope you take the time to read the previous post where I expressed my struggle to find joy in my Christian walk.   I think I left you with something like, “Being a Christian isn’t joyful, it’s hard work”. You can read it here. God did indeed have my attention.  He knows that […]
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Hey there! Do you ever just feel kind of bogged down in the nitty-gritty of life? Just trying to make it through the day? Even as you’re checking things off on your to-do list, does it still feel like drudgery instead of accomplishment. Is there any joy in all that doing? I’ve been thinking a lot […]
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“Connie, what have you been up to? Your face is radiant like Moses!” That is how my Pastor greeted me on Sunday morning. I thought it was a fitting choice of words, using a tongue-tied character to describe me. Moses! I attended my very first women’s conference 41 years ago when I was 18 years old. […]
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As I look out over my backyard on this dreary, rainy spring day, I see several gardens that need attention. I wish it was 20 degrees warmer and sunny today. This is the only time of the year that I get an “itch” to work in the garden. I love the cooler spring days and the […]
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My little 11 month old grandson is a beautiful baby, no bias on my part (smile). He is a mild-mannered, easy-going child. The kind of baby you can love on, and rocky-bye, and snuggle with, and then just toss into bed — and he goes to sleep. That kind of baby. The modern, child-rearing books […]
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Not only are the windows overlooking my backyard covered with fingerprints, there are numerous nose prints here and there on the glass as well …which makes me smile. Grass clippings and dirt stick to my bare feet and I kick a toy tractor out of my way as I go for my first cup of […]
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A little seed, in a packet, content to be with other seeds. It is a comfortable, safe and happy place. Once plucked by the farmer, it is planted in a muddy, dirty place. And as it is watered, it begins to fall apart! That is a story told by author and speaker, Lysa Terkeurst. I […]
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 — dedicated in memory of my dear friend, Susi, who found her joy, and taught me to see my blessings. My farmer husband is testing the waters today. Are the beans ready? Will they process through the combine without problems? Or should he wait a few more days. Harvest has begun, and with it, a […]
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Lately I’ve watched a few people … those who maybe haven’t seen my husband since he changed careers. They aren’t good at disguising their surprise at the change. There is usually a little snicker or a “well there’s farmer Jon”. This man I married almost 40 years ago has always worn dress clothes to work, […]
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Does every empty-nest mother have this hollow feeling as she crawls into bed each night?  Does she mentally think of each daughter or son? Names them one by one as she lifts them up to God, wondering what they are doing at that very moment?  Are they safe?  Are they well?  Are they happy? Is […]
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Philippians 4:8  “…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  Philippians 4:8 is the verse I read this morning. And I have read that verse many times, but this morning those words gave a new promise. […]
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A new chapter has begun. Not sure how I feel about it yet. Well, that’s not true. Yes, I do. My feelings are raw — like a fresh wound.  I don’t like it at all. I want to turn back the clock. I don’t want to go down this road. I knew this day […]
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